January 25, 2006

Conservative cabinet, according to Rick Mercer

Rick Mercer was Jon Stewart before Jon Stewart was Jon Stewart.

The Conservative Party of Canada, who will form a minority government after this week's mystifying election, contain some of the most socially inept, globally ignorant WASPs Canada has to offer. Here's Mercer's take on who Stephen Harper might pick for cabinet include these culturally sensitive, open-minded members of the intelligentsia.

"Nelson Mandela is a terrorist.”
-- The terrifying young Conservative Rob Anders, who won with nearly 60% of the vote in Calgary West.

“Immigrants are choking welfare systems, contributing to high unemployment, and many cannot read.”
-- What a surprise! Another ageing white Conservative! Art Hanger garnered 64% in Calgary Northeast.

I don't have a quote for her, but the sheer Stepford plasticity of Cheryl Gallant, re-elected in Renfrew-Nipissing-Pembroke, scares the bejesus out of me.

“I think every Christian's under an obligation to change laws to reflect biblical values."
-- Right-wing nut Darrel Reid, who thankfully lost in Richmond, BC to respected Liberal incumbent Raymond Chan. It was closer than it should have been.


bree said...

Mercer's way funnier than Jon Stewart. The Daily Show is hilarious for the first 10 minutes, and then a bunch of second-rate comedians take over. The Mercer Report is all about Rick, and the giggle rate remains pretty much constant all the way through. I dig his blog too, although he could update more frequently ...

Jocelyn said...

Interestingly, Raymond Chan is also a Christian. I met him once at a conference and he was one of the most gracious people I've ever met (that was at the point that he had recently lost an election, which two years later he won the riding back). It's funny that some candidates feel the need to jump up and down and say stupid things to get the attention of people they think will elect them - but if you let your record speak you seem to do better....