June 23, 2004


After thorough investigation, it has been determined that the mucous extracted from Jason's left nostril yesterday afternoon did not, in fact, look like the Virgin Mary.

Experts almost unanimously agree the fragment of snot more closely resembled Steve McQueen. One theory holds the bodily fluid was trying to reenact a famous scene from The Great Escape, but when it found no motorcycle waiting upon its host's upper lip, it tried to get back into the nasal passage.

Jason has announced plans to charge $5.79 admission to those interested in witnessing the lookalike booger.

Representatives from the McQueen estate were unavailable for comment at publication time.

No comments: