June 9, 2004

Cleanse

So I'm on this five-day fibre cleanse.

What the hell does the English language need with two so similar verbs? Am I cleaning my body, or cleanSing by body? And a 'fibre cleanse?' So, will I end up with the cleanest fibre on the block?

Needless to say, day three is Irritation Day. Now THAT would make a good movie about alien intrusion.

-- Fade to mission control room; UFOs float menacingly on screens as many people scurry this way and that --

Supermodel in Normalizing Glasses for Supporting Role (TM): "Sir, the aliens have reached the planet's surface."

Bill Paxton: "Where did they land, dammit!"

Supermodel, taking off glasses to show sudden uberhuman beauty: "They're... they're in the building, sir."

Bill Paxton: "Don't let 'em in, man, I'm on day three of my cleanse. If they get in here, there's no telling WHAT I'll do."

Bill Pullman: "Hey, I thought I was supposed to be the lead in this film."

-- Paxton kills Pullman with bare hands --

And the cleanse continues...

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