Demetri Martin quote of the day

Sometimes, people who done tell jokes is funny people.

"A mobile home with a flat tire is a home."

-- Demetri Martin

Demetri Martin quote of the day

Demetri Martin is funny.

"Hot potato is a very different game when the players are starving. Then it's more like 'My Potato.' I've got burned fingertips, but I don't give a damn: FREE POTATO!"

-- Demetri Martin

Demetri Martin quote of the day

I was recently introduced to a New York comic whose one-liners are worthy of Stephen Wright himself. One a day, my friends, one a day:

"They call it fishin', but they should call it what it really is: trickin' and killin'."

-- Demetri Martin

Demetri Martin quote of the day

I was recently introduced to a New York comic whose one-liners are worthy of Stephen Wright himself. One a day, my friends, one a day:

"Saying 'I apologize' is the same as saying 'I'm sorry'. Unless you're at a funeral."

-- Demetri Martin

Demetri Martin quote of the day

I've just been introduced to a New York comedian, who's, well, funny, in a Stephen-Wright-at-the-piano kind of way:

"It's easy to turn any toy into an adult toy: LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION."

-- Demetri Martin