Jason Kurylo, photographer

Currently have the "cover shot" of the Vancouver User Guide.

Jason Kurylo, photographer.

How does that sound, baby?

Will the circle be unbroken?

First there was Trekkies, a 1997documentary about extreme Star Trek fans. The film was made by Denise Crosby, herself an actor most famous for playing a character on Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Now there's The New Voyages, which kinda takes the opposite tack. It's an internet-based series made by fans of the original show, which of course was cancelled after just three seasons before becoming the cult hit that spawned a million badly designed bedrooms. Well, these folks are such big fans, they're making "the fourth season," using uncannily reproduced sets and costumes.

The first couple of scripts are a little rough, but hey, so were the originals! The actors aren't the best in the world, but has anyone ever accused Leonard Nimoy of threatening in an Oscar race?

Anyway, since they webcast the first two episodes, some heavyweights have come on board. The family of Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry have given their stamp of approval, and original series writer DC Fontana, who's also done work on Dallas, Bonanza, The Six Million Dollar Man and numerous successful animated series, has agreed to pen an upcoming episode. That has inspired Pavel Chekov himself, Walter Koenig, to join the net series for a guest shot.

I first got the info from this story on the CBC website.

Fan fiction based on a cult TV favourite, written by the original show's writer and featuring one of the original actors.

I'm torn. On one hand, I wonder if I could recreate 80s excess soap operaFalcon Crest to get Mexican-born hottieAna Alicia Ortiz to canoodle with me on camera. On the other, I want to ask, "Old star reused on recycled net-based show. Can an eBay-sold, reconstituted breakfast cereal tie-in be far behind?"

Running outta gas

Just don't have a lot of pep the last few days. Everyone says, "I love four-day weeks," but it seems I lack energy after a long weekend. That extra day off drags me out of the routine, or something, and I don't recover until a regular weekend passes.

Oddment, n'est-ce pas?

The horror!

I did City Chase Vancouver on the weekend of the 14th after a recommendation from Rob & Sandra. It was sort of like The Amazing Race, where couples (in this case my friend Denise and I were one of 270 such duos) run around the place -- public transit and foot power the only accepted methods of transport -- finding the answers to silly clues and/or performing ridiculous stunts and challenges.

Between 10 and 5 on Saturday, Denise and I were at Metrotown asking octogenarians to pose for pictures with their dentures in hand; at Nat Bailey Stadium firing paintball pellets at each other's asses; in Almond Park balancing on an exercise ball while tossing water balloons back and forth; at UBC following obtuse orienteering maps to find hidden windsocks; but it was at Kits Beach that I faced the most terrifying moment of my sappy little life.

I'm hydrophobic. That means I have an irrational fear of water. Okay, I don't run screaming from a bottle of Evian; I actually quite enjoy an hour in a jacuzzi. Should water in the pool be deeper than a metre and a half, however, I start getting nervous. Throw me in a natural body of water, most of which are two or more metres deep, then, and I'll go into an apeshit blind panic on your nasty ass.



So it was surprising that in the final moments of City Chase, I found myself on a frickin' surfboard about 40 metres off the shore of Kits Beach. Paddling frantically and hyperventilating, it turns out, don't go well together. (I'm getting tightness in my breathing just typing about it.) I had to stop three or four times to calm myself down -- I put my forehead to the board, tried not to feel the motion of the water, and took ten deep breaths -- it felt like I was out there for a full year.

There was a short triangular route we had to follow, with the choice to go together on one board, or to go separately relay-style. The photo above is of another team going together; me, I couldn't wrap my head around that, so it was eight minutes -- did I mention it felt like a year? -- of solo torture before I collapsed on the beach and let Denise bring it home.

The event as a whole was tons of fun, and we met a few great people during the day. We'll definitely be back next year. I dunno if I'll get my sorry white ass back on one of those boards, but maybe we can plan to skip any challenges based beachside.

The power of porn

Ah, the psyche of the human male.

Okay, that's a stretch -- some of the people I'll talk about now could be human females.

Ever since I published the post on Tuesday about Belinda Stronach, I've had a handful of hits on the site from people searching for information about her crossing the floor and joining the Liberal Party.

I've also had some hits from people searching for -- I kid you not -- "Stronach pics", "Belinda Stronach porn", "Stronach nice rack", and my personal favourite, "Stronach knockers naked nude blow job".

Hey, Belinda's an attractive woman. I remember Hilary Clinton had some similar attention when hubby Bill first got into office. But, come on. Stronach knockers naked nude blow job?

Poor Peter McKay.

All this, and scruples, too?

Belinda Stronach has crossed the floor to join the Liberals -- BCers take note, the federal bastards are much less frightening than their provincial counterparts. While Stronach's politics and my own don't parallel on everything, I think this is the best thing to happen to Canadian politics since Trudeau gave protesters an unapologetic middle finger in front of a glut of photographers.

News from Ottawa is often so insular and, frankly, boring, that it leaves people across the country longing for yet another article describing what hasn't happened between negotiators in the NHL lockout.

Stronach's obviously adult decision, and Harper's obviously playground reaction, on the other hand, are giving the Canadian public something as rare and valuable as coloured diamonds: clear, unsullied personality from politicians.

The carefully choreographed press junkets, so often used by Conservatives to soften their socially damaging views with well-written soundbites, have thus far been left out of the equation. In this particular instance, for once, we've seen a genuine action by Stronach, who believes Harper is dangerous and selfish; we've seen a genuine action by Harper, who's whining like a kid left off the guest list to a former friend's birthday party.

In this case, Stronach's difficult decision was made seemingly without advancement in mind. The Liberal Party is reeling, possibly on the verge of collapse; she's not likely to see any immediate positives out of her move. Harper, on the other hand, has lost one of his superstars. By sniping at her for actually *gasp* standing up for her beliefs, Harper looks altogether like a moping child. He strikes me today as the bully who fades as soon as the other kids hit the growth spurt he was lucky to come across a little bit early.

I applaud Ms Stronach for her courage today. It can't be easy for a high-profile politician to show conviction, especially that which is unpopular. For her to do this deserves a second look -- Canada, take notice. This is a woman to watch in the future.

A quick aside here: does anyone have a copy of that famous flip of the bird? I haven't seen the Trudeau Salute picture in a long time, no matter how many times it appears on Wikipedia as a throwaway definition of "The Finger."

Good drinks, table manners, and the BC Sex Party

Every day after work, I head to my favourite coffeeshop to read, write or just hang out a little before heading home for dinner. I have a running challenge with some of the baristas there; I give them no boundaries, and they make me something different to surprise me.

Today I was just reading the paper, back to the wall, reclining and sipping a marvelous concoction involving peppermint tea, skim milk and Belgian chocolate. All in all, a great way to end the day.

You read the paper, you've got to turn the page, right? I had just finished reading about The BC Sex Party's platform, and went to move along to the next page. As I did so, I glanced to my left, and a gentleman sitting at the far corner table seemed just a little too comfortable in staring at his laptop connected to the store's WIFI service. He noticed my head turn out of the corner of his eye, and quickly adjusted his computer so I couldn't see the screen any more. This would't have bothered me had he not been staring at hardcore porn.

Now I'm no prude. In fact, I have a few naughty pictures on my hard drive, myself. I don't, however, view them in public places. Hell, most of the time I don't even look at 'em when the wife's home.

If that weren't all good enough for jazz, buddy packed up his computer about five minutes later and made his way from the table -- wait for it -- to the washroom, where he proceeded to lock himself in the can for a good twenty minutes.

Needless to say, he came out a little flushed and slightly glossy.

I'm sorry, but again I'm going to play the "not a prude" card. That said, I think going to the can for a wank with your dirty picture slideshow is a little over the line, ain't it? I mean really, am I out of line in being a little disgusted here?

It can't be something unique to Tree's. I see lots of laptops -- heck, backpacks that could easily hold decades of porn subscriptions -- at coffee shops, restaurants and retail shops across the city. Surely this is happening pretty much everywhere at any given moment. Should, then, I be surprised when I witness such a thing?

At any rate, it sure reinforced my habit of giving public toilets a good wipedown and tissue placement before any s(h)itting goes on.

Publication of the week

How can you top this?