Anybody got a pen?

Seven Things about David Booth

2011-10-27T14:23:00.003-07:00

How many of you knew that new Vancouver Canuck acquisition David Booth hunts big game with a frickin' bow and arrow? Huh? Huh? Seriously.

Seven Things about David Booth at the Hockey Writers website.

Enjoy, y'all!

Seven teams to watch in 2011-12

2011-10-13T20:15:00.004-07:00

I did a guest blog post for the Fan Zoo, a Vancouver-based sports memorabilia company. Here it is, yo: Seven Teams to Watch in the 2011-12 NHL season.

PITH: Southeast Division preview

2011-09-21T10:43:00.006-07:00

Pucked in the Head posted their 35th episode early last week - it's a searing tale of frequent flyer miles, swimsuits and Russian underachievers. If only Barnes & Noble had lived to sell this.

Pucked in the Head 035 - Southeast Division Preview

The Longest Hockey Game in History

2011-09-02T22:13:00.002-07:00

Between August 26 and September 5, 2011, 40 women in Burnaby, British Columbia will break the Guinness World Record by playing the longest continuous hockey game in history. The brainchild of Val Skelly, the Longest Game is an homage to a friend, Lucia Tavano, who died of CF at the age of 27. They're raising awareness and funds for Cystic Fibrosis research and encouraging people to become organ donors as well. See below for some very sobering facts about CF. Their website is www.longestgame4cf.com.

This first picture shows Katrina Dauncey making a save in the 105th hour - at this point, she had personally put in more than 46 hours on the ice.

Somebody approved this.

2011-08-27T11:11:00.004-07:00

We pundits over at Pucked in the Head are constantly mocking the products put out by supposedly professional designers and marketers. Reports have the New York Islanders launching a third jersey that looks like something out of a third-rate roller hockey league. We think you'll agree, but encourage you to defend this piece of dreck. Check out the inaugural edition of Somebody Approved This.

Shooting the off-season sh*t

2011-08-23T22:14:00.002-07:00

We've gotten back on the podcast horse and hereby proudly deliver our first off-season episode:

Pucked in the Head 33: Shooting the Off-Season Sh*t.

(Be warned, Chris is still a little sore from his thrashing at the hands of the Big Bad Boston Bruins. Watch for bruising, a gimpy leg and more than a little crankypants whining.)

Mike Duco's 15 minutes starts... NOW.

2011-07-12T14:12:00.004-07:00

Mike Duco is the newest Vancouver Canuck. For the moment, he's probably the most unpopular, as well. Read why here.

Wanna talk some smack about the Rangers GM? Do some research first - here's all about the gong show Glen Sather's got going on in New York.

Ol' Slats has managed a decent move or two over the years. You just have to hunt for them. Signing Brad Richards is by far the best free agent signing he's made.

Charzilla vs the Mothratwins

2011-06-09T21:23:00.002-07:00

No matter who wins, we at Pucked in the Head had a tonne of fun at the expense of the Vancouver Canucks and Boston Bruins this Stanley Cup final. Case in point, Charzilla vs the Mothratwins

Seven Things: Homecomings, Severed Fingers and Green Babies

2011-05-27T22:54:00.003-07:00

"There's a new blog in town, and it aims to be the most obscure little hockey blog around." I know what you're thinking. "Hey, wasn't that a Leonard Cohen song?" And you're right. It was, until we stole it.

Seven Things will always aim low, and probably hit lower. In this, the 28 May 2011 edition, we mock Joe Thornton for severing his finger prior to the playoffs, suggest Zdeno Chara is anathema to modern medicine, and make mouldy sperm jokes about the Green Men. Enjoy.

30 Day Song Challenge, Day Two

2011-05-11T19:41:00.000-07:00

My Least Favourite Song

Grrrrrr.

I'm sure I could throw just about any death metal, gangsta rap or piece of autotuned shite in at the Day Two position, but I don't really consider those music, ya know? So I'll have to go with an old "classic" that makes me lunge for the radio controls whenever it comes on.

Rod Stewart - Do Ya Think I'm Sexy

No, Rod, no I don't.

30 Day Song Challenge, Day 01

2011-04-21T10:22:00.004-07:00

Fine. I'll do it. But I won't like it.

Day 01 – Your favorite song: today, anyway, it's Paul Simon: Kodachrome. ♫

From the 1973 album There Goes Rhymin' Simon, this song peaked at #2 on the Billboard US chart. It was never released as a single in the UK because the BBC refused to play a song that so prominently mentioned a trademarked name. At the behest of professional and amateur photographers around the world, Simon changed one of the song's lyrics in later live performances, from everything looks worse in black and white to everything looks better in black and white.

Ansel Adams would approve.

Round one, Western Conference predictions

2011-04-13T13:19:00.004-07:00

It's Canucks v Hawks III, and this time the Canucks hold all the cards. Well, not ALL the cards - the Hawks still have a pretty good top six in Toews, Kane, Hossa, Sharp, Frolik and Stalberg. With the defending champs having traded away their bottom six, however - Byfuglien, Versteeg, Ladd et al were huge parts of last year's Cup win - the Canucks have a decided advantage in the depth department. With apologies to our friends in Anaheim and Nashville, because we pretty much snore through that series preview - here are our picks for the West in round one.

Pucked in the Head 30 - Round One Western Conference predictions

Subscribe to Pucked in the Head on iTunes

Pucked in the Head official website

2011 playoffs - round one, Eastern Conference predictions

2011-04-13T13:11:00.009-07:00

It's playoff time, folks, and that means Chris and I feel a bizarre, simian urge to fling the excrement that is our thoughts with whoever happens to be within earshot. Here are our round one Eastern Conference predictions, wrapped up in a convenient web-friendly audio format. Enjoy.

Pucked in the Head 29: Round One Eastern Conference predictions

Pucked in the Head on iTunes

Pucked in the Head official website

Hockey Songs IV - The Hockey Song by Stompin' Tom Connors

2011-04-04T09:24:00.003-07:00

Things have been pretty hectic over here in New Daddy Land. Thus it's been a bit of a challenge to get new episodes of Pucked in the Head up and running - despite lots of on-ice stuff to talk about, we've been unable to get our shi... er, get our stuff together & record new eps. Hence, episode 27 reaches into the standby bag yet again.

Luckily it's good stuff. Jamie Macdonald of The Orchid Highway dropped by to yak up the fourth edition of Hockey Songs. Here's Pucked in the Head 27: Stompin' Tom and The Hockey Song. His brother Derek makes a surprise appearance for the second half of the episode, and the three of us... sigh... sing the freakin' Hockey Song.

Download. Listen. Put ointment on your naughty bits. Enjoy.

Pucked in the Head official website

Pucked in the Head on iTunes

Stompin' Tom official website

I guess I'm voting NDP

2011-03-31T08:27:00.010-07:00

In my riding, Burnaby-Douglas, the incumbent, Bill Siskay, is one of the few openly gay politicians ever to hold a seat in Canadian parliament. Siskay is the latest in a long line of NDP candidates to win this seat - however, the margin of victory has been slim over the past few elections. He won in 2008 by a mere 798 votes over the Conservative candidate, Ronald Leung.

Strategic voting: Leung is the only candidate returning for his party in this riding for the 2011 election. Siskay has stepped aside, so the strongest shot at keeping this seat away from the Harper government is a new candidate for the incumbent NDP, Kennedy Stewart (I'm sure Mr Leung is a nice person, but a Harper majority is NOT where I want to see Canada go.) Ken Low is the Liberal candidate, and while his community involvement is admirable, he has little political experience. I line up pretty strongly with the belief system behind the Green Party, and Adrianne Merlo seems like a person I would like to support. Unfortunately, the Greens are politically irrelevant on the national stage, and a left-wing vote split just plays into the Conservative agenda. Sometimes I wish we would alter our system to allow for a separate vote - one for Prime Minister, and one for the local MP.

I guess I'm voting Stewart, and the NDP, in this election.

Kennedy Stewart - NDP

Adrianne Merlo - Green

Ken Low - Liberal

Ronald Leung - Conservative

Hockey Songs 3 - I Feel Like Gerry Cheevers

2011-03-01T08:26:00.003-08:00

It's the third in our series of hockey songs, and perhaps our best bit of musical banter yet. Thanks to Jamie Macdonald of The Orchid Highway for his friendship and expertise - together we brign you Pucked in the Head 26: (I Feel Like) Gerry Cheevers (Stitch Marks on My Heart)

Download. Listen. Tweak your groin. Enjoy.

Pucked in the Head episode 26.

Pucked in the Head on iTunes.

Pucked in the Head episode 25

2011-02-28T15:29:00.006-08:00

Your friendly neighbourhood hockey podcast is back, this time with the Top Five Hockey Skater Nicknames of All-Time.

Download. Listen. Tweak your groin. Enjoy.

Pucked in the Head episode 25.

Pucked in the Head on iTunes.

Pucked in the Head episode 24

2011-02-11T12:15:00.004-08:00

Episode 24: The Top 7 Goalie Nicknames is, quite probably, the most professional-sounding episode we've done thus far. Not surprising, really, since the last Top 7 list (Episode 8: Top 7 Sports Event Endings) was similarly polished and entertaining. In our view, anyway.

Give it a listen and let us know what you think. You might just learn something about hockey legend Frank "Mr Zero" Brimsek here, or one of the other gents we talk about.

Most important of all: remember it's just a game. Enjoy it!

http://www.puckedinthehead.com
http://tinyurl.com/puckeditunes

What a difference an e makes.

2011-02-01T15:33:00.004-08:00

Envelope: countable noun. A flat container, usually made of paper or plastic, often sealed with glue or wax, used to mail letters or small objects. Jack put fifty cents in an envelope and placed it beside his son's bed in exchange for the tooth under the pillow.

Envelop: transitive verb. To surround completely; to overwhelm. Maria's favourite time of day was dusk, as she waited for the darkness to envelop the neighbourhood.

WHL hockey: Giants 3, Blazers 1

2011-01-29T20:55:00.004-08:00

I started coverage of the Vancouver Giants for the online publication the Vancouver Observer. Give it a look-see.

http://www.vancouverobserver.com/blogs/face-off/2011/01/29/giants-win-fifth-straight-mismatch

Pucked in the Head, episode 23

2011-01-29T01:10:00.006-08:00

Finally got the new episode over to Chris, who posted it on the website. Episode 23 - Our Mid-Season Award Recipients. You can find out who we think deserves the Canucks Unsung Hero Award, as well as legitimate NHL Awards. It's prize-tastic fun!

http://tinyurl.com/pucked023

Or, if you prefer, go to iTunes and subscribe your little buns off:

http://tinyurl.com/puckeditunes

Notes on decade #4

2011-01-26T11:09:00.006-08:00

It's the end of January, 2011. I turn 40 in 22 days. There won't be any navel gazing here, boys and girls - just a thanks to everyone who helped make the past decade the best I've experienced thus far. I'm happier now - more patient, more content, more excited, more passionate than I've ever been.

Since turning 30, I have managed to do the following:

* Convinced a wonderful, fiery Latina to marry me. (Hi Nadia!)

* Had a beautiful baby girl (Milla) with said wonderful, fiery Latina.

* Fixed my credit rating - largely due to the organizational skills of the aforementioned fiery Latina.

* Bought a townhouse.

* Visited Mexico several times.

* Started speaking Spanish.

* Visited China.

* Didn't get shanghaied.

* Did the West Coast Trail.

* Found out that teaching isn't just a job, it's a passion.

* Learned that coaching turns teaching into a passion that pays well.

* Produced a movie screening to raise money for the Cancer Society.

* Started a small business (Kick-Start Cardio).

* Learned that - dude - small businesses are, like, wicked hard to run well.

* Closed that small business.

* Rekindled my love affair with hockey.

* Started a podcast (http://www.puckedinthehead.com/).

* Went back to school (UBC).

There were some hurdles, sure, but it's been a fun 10 years. Here's to the fifth decade being the best one yet.

Surrogates review

2009-09-26T00:15:00.001-07:00

An above-average entry in the burgeoning sci-fi techno-thriller genre, Surrogates goes great lengths to show how beautiful us real, honest-to-goodness ugly humans are. It's a Premise Movie (TM), like The Matrix, Strange Days or A.I. You need to let yourself buy the idea that 98% of the world's population stays at home and sends forth surrogates -- gorgeous robotic avatars -- into the world to handle nearly every daily task. You plug into this machine with superhuman strength, agility, etc., but you send him/her/it to... work the same shitty workplace you would've gone to without one? Seems the tech hasn't eliminated the need for lousy jobs...

Willing suspension of disbelief and all that. Anyway, this film adaptation may not pack the noirish punch of the gritty graphic novel, but it's a decent popcorn flick that uses Bruce Willis's unique battered and bruised, loose cannon cop routine quite well.

Interesting sidenote: at the end of the film, random couple to our right launched into a debate about the socio-political ramifications of widely available surrogate technology. The belles behind us immediately started talking about the beauty salon / body shop - 'Like, OMG, wouldn't it be awesome to get your cheekbones done like that?'

OMG, indeed, sweetheart. O. M. G.

When I go to Peru...

2009-01-02T00:41:00.003-08:00

... I was thinking that I'd rough it; but this looks tempting...

Get your own - Open publication

Chuck Palahniuk's Haunted

2008-11-01T17:18:00.005-07:00

Chuck Palahniuk is king of the saleable gross-out. This guy made his name with Fight Club -- an extreme descent into the do-nothing, thirty-something generation that has little more than Simpsons quotes and dry wit to bond over -- and has tried to outdo himself on the excrete-o-meter ever since. (Case in point: Invisible Monsters, where a distraught model blows off her own jaw to explore the other side of the beauty myth. Case in point: Choke, in which sex addicts prey on weaklings, including each other, in a search for some sort of fulfillment.

In Haunted, Palahniuk doesn't merely give us one social screwup; he gives us more than 20. They all pack themselves, And Then There Were None-style, into an abandoned theatre for a writers' retreat. Of course, the bodies, and the body parts, pile up shortly after that alley door clicks shut.

Enjoy. Just don't read chapter one over lunch. Yeuch.

Open letter to HBO

2008-10-19T22:21:00.004-07:00

Dear Execs at HBO

Please count my wife and me among the faithful — Daniel Knauf's Carnivale is not only a wonderfully creative exploration of the TV medium, it's a challenging piece of modern art. And yes, I say that even after the second season attempted to somewhat dumb down the show for the ever-disappointing American TV-watching audience. (Props for that admission go to series star Clancy Brown, one of the most eloquent actors I've heard interviewed.)

There are so few genuinely original additions to the popular culture pantheon; when one appears, we all have a responsibility to ensure it has every possible support. It's a crying shame when powers that be pull plugs, especially when motivated by petty things such as money. We, and several of our friends, have purchased both seasons on DVD, doing our part to put our money where are mouths are. What more can we do to encourage you to go on fighting the good fight?

These writers + these filmmakers + this cast = something unique. Please don't lose the opportunity to complete, or least seriously further, this utterly special story arc.

Tropic Thunder - film review, better late than never

2008-10-08T23:00:00.002-07:00

The inevitable comparisons between Tropic Thunder and Apocalypse Now are somewhat misguided, I feel, since at the very heart of Ben Stiller's magnum opus is the desire to take the piss out of that very film. One should not compare a parody with its target on an artistic level. It's supposed to be similar, and therefore, by its very nature, denies creative comparison.

A similar mistake was made recently when Total Guitar Magazine copped a brain fart and included the Mike Flowers Pops spoof of Wonderwall on its worst cover list; Vegas-style renditions, a la Flowers or the brilliant, aptly named Richard Cheese, are not meant to be good. It's just a bonus if they are (case in point: Cheese's stellar cover of Duran Duran's Hungry Like the Wolf).

Back to the film, luckily, Tropic Thunder is good. Funny in places, most of the time thanks to Robert Downey Jr. Serious in places, interestingly thanks to Jack Black. Hilarious in its pisstake of pretty much every serious war flick since, and including, Apocalypse Now.

Robertson Davies - Fifth Business

2008-10-07T21:10:00.003-07:00

My knowledge of Canadian literature is admittedly weak, which has recently spawned a trek down must-read lane. My fave so far has got to be Chester Brown's decision to tackle Louis Riel's life story as a graphic novel.

Fifth Business, which I finished reading today, was my first foray into the good work of Mr Robertson Davies, and I have to say it was rather enjoyable (from a dusty-academic-reading-obviously-dated-classic point of view).

Dunstable (really, "Dunstable"?) Ramsay is, well, a dusty academic writing his life story in an obviously dated way. His life is unremarkable, insomuch as the average person is unremarkable. He went to war, where he lost his leg and fancied that he witnessed a miracle. He returned to Canada lead the life of a bachelor, witness to his best friend becoming both a womanizing adulterer and an astonishingly wealthy man. He followed his passion to write a couple of academically successful books, and subsequently to meet a few eccentrics along the way. Oh, and he just happened to inspire the greatest magician of the modern age. Dan Brown this ain't. But that's a good thing.

Davies's work, at least here, is wonderfully complex in its layering; repeated readings will no doubt present miracles of interpretation. I look forward to the next tome in the trilogy, The Manticore.

My ex-boss on Letterman

2008-09-15T10:31:00.001-07:00

My ex-boss Michelle got smooched on Letterman last week:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2eU1uuicNk

Congrats Michelle! Did you have fun at 21?

Neil Gaiman is the man.

2008-09-09T13:04:00.001-07:00

"Dangerous. Not Dangerous. Same thing."
-- Neil Gaiman, Mirrormask

Quote of the day

2008-08-26T16:15:00.002-07:00

"Potential events are often more important than real events."

-- Don DeLillo, Great Jones Street

Luminescent intestinal tracks

2008-08-12T16:18:00.003-07:00

"I hope no one is offended by the concept of glowing bowels."

-- Sean Cullen, Hamish X and the Cheese Pirates

Land.

2008-08-09T17:17:00.003-07:00

'Buy land, they're not making it anymore.'

— Mark Twain

I miss George Carlin.

2008-08-01T16:05:00.003-07:00

"In your own words. You hear it in classrooms. And courtrooms. They'll say, 'Tell us in your own words...'

Do you have your own words? Personally, I'm using the ones everybody else has been using.

Next time they tell you to say something in your own words, say, 'Nigflot blorny quando floon.'

— George Carlin

Of course, if you do indeed say "Nigflot blorny quando floon," you'l be using George Carlin's words. Not your own. But you get the picture.

What doth maketh the boy?

2008-07-31T16:59:00.007-07:00

"A boy is a man in miniature, and though he may sometimes exhibit notable virtue, as well as characteristics that seem to be charming because they are childlike, he is also schemer, self-seeker, traitor, Judas, crook, and villain -- in short, a man. Oh, these autobiographies in which the writer postures and simpers as a David Copperfield or a Huck Finn! False, false as harlots' oaths!"

-- Robertson Davies as Dunstan 'Corky' Ramsay in Fifth Business

The Divine Number 9

2008-07-30T16:33:00.008-07:00

"The most striking landmark on his face is the nose. It is not a nose to trifle with."

--- Roy MacSkimming, on Gordie Howe, from Gordie: A Hockey Legend, page 7.

Don't you hate it when...

2008-07-22T20:18:00.002-07:00

... people start their speech by saying, "I was just going to say that..."?

UGH! You ARE saying it, ya big idjit! If you were just going to say something, you wouldn't be saying it!

DAMN!

Must... smile...

2008-07-09T22:52:00.002-07:00

I've just been introduced to a video that cannot help but make the viewer smile. I hear some people are suggesting -- and I can't help but agree with the sentiment, no matter how tongue in cheek it might be -- that the star of this video be nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize.

Enjoy.

Where the Hell is Matt? (2008) from Matthew Harding on Vimeo.

A recent convert...

2008-07-03T23:05:00.005-07:00

... I can't believe I didn't pick up on this before, but here's a podcast that is mandatory listening for anyone with even a passing interest in music or popular culture.

Coverville

Sex and the City review

2008-06-30T12:31:00.003-07:00

I had a few (emphasis on few) people tell me they'd like my movie review-lets to be posted in the main part of the blog as well as in the sidebar, so here goes:

Sex and the City (2008)

Old Horseface and her three friends are back in action, this time on the silver screen. For fans of the series, they'll be in over-dressed heaven: this cash grab is more than two hours long, and views like five or six back-to-back episodes of the show. Good for y'all, have a great time.

There isn't much to pleasantly surprise spouses of those same fans, unfortunately: SatC is still a whine-fest featuring four women who aren't happy when they're single, and find every possible reason to bitch and complain about their partners when they're not. These aren't women, they're caricatures; fashion whores who make rabid sports fans look positively well-rounded. More of the same means this film will rake in millions in a VERY short time, and probably inspire a sequel or two as well.

I have to say, my wife loved it, and I am trying to subscribe to the old adage: "Happy wife, happy life." (To Nadia: I love you honey!) That said, I won't be joining her in repeat viewings when the DVD inevitably makes its way into the collection.

Love, exciting and new...

2008-06-28T09:07:00.003-07:00

A couple of quotes about love that I dig at the moment:

A love story is not about those who lose their heart but about those who find that sullen inhabitant who, when it is stumbled upon, means the body can fool no one, can fool nothing — not the wisdom of sleep or the habit of social graces. It is a consuming of oneself and the past.
— Michael Ondaatje, The English Patient (page 97 in my copy).

The saddest part of a broken heart
isn't the ending, so much as the start
— Feist, Let It Die from the album of the same name.

Love, exciting and new.
Come aboard, we're expecting you.
— Jack Jones, The Love Boat Theme

A Global Village

2008-06-14T16:43:00.002-07:00

Nicked and edited from Education, Vol 120, #4:

A Global Village

A few things to put your life in perspective, and hopefully inspire acceptance, understanding and education...

If we could shrink the earth's population to a village of precisely 100 people, with all the existing human ratios remaining the same, it would look something like the following:

There would be

57 Asians
21 Europeans
14 from the Western Hemisphere (including both North and South America
8 Africans

52 females
48 males

30 white people
70 non-white people

89 heterosexuals
11 homosexuals

80 people would live in substandard housing.
50 people would suffer from malnutrition.
1 would be near death.
1 would be near birth.

6 people would possess 59% of the entire world's wealth.
All 6 of those people would be from the United States.
70 people would be unable to read.
1 -- only one -- would have a college education.
1 would own a computer.

House of Tiles

2008-06-06T16:41:00.002-07:00

House of Tiles
Originally uploaded by stodmyk

In Mexico City, a young gentleman was chided by his father, who told the boy "he would never own a house of tiles," a common phrase of the day similar to today's "he'll never amount to a hill of beans."

When the guy became hideously wealthy years later, he built a veritable temple and mothered the damned thing in tiles -- outside, inside, walls, floors, ceilings. It's a gorgeous piece of decadence in the middle of the Centro Historico.

Here's Nadia and me beside a detail of the outer wall of the House of Tiles.

The future face(s) of East Vancouver?

2008-05-29T12:53:00.003-07:00

Three faces
Originally uploaded by stodmyk

The Mexican government is notorious for its corruption; centuries of caste-based governance and racial pressures will do that to you. (Case in point: not many people know that nearly five million Mexicans DON'T speak Spanish at all, but still speak Mayan and other native languages. You think QUEBEC has a "distinct society"?Imagine speaking frickin' MAYAN.)

In the past 15 years or so, however, they've done a marvelous job of turning some of those inequalities around. Sure, it's still a country full of desperation, poverty and injustice. But for all of those hard-working, smile-through-it-all, give-it-their-best folk who don't fit the unfair stereotypes, there's good news: it's also started to regain a lot of its glory, culture and, perhaps most important of all, hope.

At the corner of Calle Moneda and Calle Academia, this outstanding sculpture by José Luis Cuevas is a representation of the inspiring reclamation of the downtown area of Mexico City. There are dozens of these sculptures scattered throughout the region, lending public pride and touristic interest to previously downtrodden areas. A vigilant police presence and the creation of several museums in the area have helped to keep these artpieces free of vandalism and graffiti, as well.

East Van could use some projects like this, don't you think? (I'm sorry, pre-fab fibreglass bears painted up like Lydia the Tattooed Lady just don't cut it as culture.) When our museum-bound pieces are stolen for scrap metal (don't get me started on the whole Bill Reid thing), maybe street art weighing several tonnes is the answer.

Oh, that gorgeous third face in the middle is courtesy of my wife, the lovely and talented Nadia Ruiz, who remains a wonderful representation of the reclamation of my adult life. Perhaps she will also be a part of the better parts of East Van, if we ever manage to raise joint venture capital to put a down payment on a house there. (I wonder if there are any other solid gold boxes with lax security out there.)

Us at Chitzen Itza

2008-05-27T12:34:00.002-07:00

Us at Chitzen Itza
Originally uploaded by stodmyk

Okay, I'll admit it. I haven't seen Apocalypto, and have only an amateur relationship with archaeology in general. But DAMN, was Chitzen Itza every bit the jaw-dropping, awe-inspiring experience those chisel-wielding, safari hatted geeks told me it would be.

Nadia and I rented a car in Cancun, and hit Chitzen Itza on Friday, May 16.

Jonesing for the IVth film

2008-05-26T21:37:00.005-07:00

Like most action film fans of this day & age, I knashed on Raiders of the Lost Ark and

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008) -Harrison Ford still has some crack left in his bullwhip, but unfortunately he's toting on his 65-year-old shoulders a story conceived by the long-braindead George Lucas. He of the franchise-killing behemoth hasn't conceived a good story since the mid- to late-80s; that's probably why Ford refused to don the Indy Fedora for nigh on 20 years. That said, even with hamfisted period references to the late 50s, Goonies-style runaway scenes involving a small cadre of "good guys", and a storyline that would have gotten a Grade 9 creative writer shivved in the upstairs boys' room, it's fun to see Indiana Jones in action once again. This battles Temple of Doom for second place in the "best of the franchise" competition -- nothing will ever match Raiders of the Lost Ark, but that's no reason not to try once or twice more. (And I reiterate: if we can have seven different James Bonds, why not recast Jones? Ralph Fiennes would be great in the Fedora. Or hell, suave him up and give Johnny Depp a go-round as the professor. And for Pete's sake, get Lucas out of the producer's chair and get a writer worth his salt to work on the next one.)

Jonesing for the IVth Indy flick

2008-05-26T21:37:00.004-07:00

Like most action film fans of this day & age, I knashed on Raiders of the Lost Ark long before I dropped my jaw for The Bourne Ultimatum.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008) -Harrison Ford still has some crack left in his bullwhip, but unfortunately he's toting on his 65-year-old shoulders a story conceived by the long-braindead George Lucas. He of the franchise-killing behemoth hasn't conceived a good story since the mid- to late-80s; that's probably why Ford refused to don the Indy Fedora for nigh on 20 years. That said, even with hamfisted period references to the late 50s, Goonies-style runaway scenes involving a small cadre of "good guys", and a storyline that would have gotten a Grade 9 creative writer shivved in the upstairs boys' room, it's fun to see Indiana Jones in action once again. This battles Temple of Doom for second place in the "best of the franchise" competition -- nothing will ever match Raiders of the Lost Ark, but that's no reason not to try once or twice more. (And I reiterate: if we can have seven different James Bonds, why not recast Jones? Ralph Fiennes would be great in the Fedora. Or hell, suave him up and give Johnny Depp a go-round as the professor. And for Pete's sake, get Lucas out of the producer's chair and get a writer worth his salt to work on the next one.)

Cinema Verdict: Raiders review

2008-05-08T23:45:00.003-07:00

Cinema Verdict review of Raiders: the Adaptation

Wonderful response from an avid film fan -- nice of them to add a link and citation to our site as well!

Fong Songs: Indy Film

2008-05-08T23:30:00.000-07:00

Fong Songs: Indy Film

Review of the film I put on last weekend, replete with my movie poster! Thanks Fong, glad you liked!

We were on CBC Radio, yo!

2008-05-01T23:55:00.006-07:00

Well, it's official. Chris Strompolos, producer of Raiders: The Adaptation, is in Vancouver and we spent most of today running around town doing media appearances and scarfing down good food far too quickly to properly appreciate it.

We hit Shaw Cable's Urban Rush in the afternoon, CBC Radio One's On the Coast later on and managed to squeeze in a talk with the self-professed geekfest that is the Vancouver-produced video game and fanboy culture show, Electric Playground.

I'm trying to be Zen about it — because the coverage is great!!! and it's all about the kids at Camp Good Times and the Canadian Cancer Society — but 24HRS Vancouver spelled my name incorrectly throughout this otherwise smokin' feature in the Friday morning paper.

*sigh*

Oh well. I'm not supposed to be the star of it, anyway.

Chris had a good time, and was a great sport about walking all over the downtown core on two hours of sleep. We wound up the day by seeing Raiders of the Lost Improv at Vancouver TheatreSports League (how could we not check it out), thanks to Exec. Director Jay Ono who comped us into the show and gave us a wonderful plug for the crowd before the show. From left to right: Ted Cole, Nick Harrison, Chris Strompolos, Michael Tiegen, Denise Jones

Thanks to everyone who helped to put this together. Friday evenin' is all about the 3400 block of Cambie Street. It's Black Dog Video from 5 to 6, where Melinda has put together an amazing meet & greet on short notice. Then it's the Park Theatre from 6 to 7, where Storm Brew is setting us up with some excellent hops. Showtime is 7 pm sharp! After party is a possibility at Daddy-O's just up the street!

All photos in this post by Jason Kurylo. Thanks to Shaw Cable, CBC Radio and the Vancouver TheatreSports League for letting us pretty much have the run of their places while we ran around promoting our wee fundraiser.

Props to Rock-Paper-Scissors and Black Dog Video

2008-04-23T10:29:00.004-07:00

Other than my lovely wife Nadia (kisses bebe!), two of the biggest helps thus far in putting on this movie screening (Friday May 2 at the Park Theatre, Raiders: The Adaptation, tickets $12 with proceeds going to the Canadian Cancer Society) have been:

Diana Frances at Rock-Paper-Scissors, a Vancouer-based corporate comedy organization and regular performer at Urban Improv on Monday nights at Chivana Restaurant. I've known her for ages (met her when I previewed A Twisted Christmas Carol for the WestEnder years ago, and she's A-1 in my book, a damned nice woman who is also one of the funniest people I know. Please support live performance!

Melinda Michalak at Black Dog Video, across the street from the Park on Cambie, and also a damned nice woman. I've just met Melinda, but she has jumped on this project with a load of enthusiasm, and given me advice, contacts and energy in an extremely short time. Please support local business!

Props all round for these two amazing people...

Iron Man, according to the Onion

2008-04-21T19:42:00.002-07:00

Thanks to Peter Chattaway at his filmchat blog for posting this brilliant E-News sppof, which says the Iron Man trailer from last summer has been expanded into a FULL-BLOWN MOVIE!

Wildly Popular 'Iron Man' Trailer To Be Adapted Into Full-Length Film

Raiders: The Adaptation in Vancouver May 2

2008-04-20T20:47:00.004-07:00

I'm finding out more and more about event organization -- like, for example, that no one has a Serving it Right certificate AND wants to put their name on a one-day liquor license. Or that they use freakin' WALLPAPER GLUE to put up those posters on construction sites and posting poles downtown. But I digress.

Vancouver blogger and self-professed 'huge, geeky nerd'Shane Birley has nicely upped the show on his blog, Shane's World. It's my experience that the people least likely to actually be huge geeky nerds happen to think they fit that category. A tip of the huge, geeky hat to Shane, and I hope I get to shake his paw at the event.

Shane is a big part of Left Right Minds, a multi-service company dealing providing web development, promotions, consulting and a bunch of other services for businesses and non-profits. The biggest arts name I recognize on their roster is Uzume Taiko, the super-cool drumming group that's been (ahem) making noise the past couple of years.

Thanks again, Shane!

I don't just teach English...

2008-04-18T15:01:00.000-07:00

... dammit, I save LIVES!

Tickets now available online

2008-04-09T17:15:00.004-07:00

My Indiana Jones loving friends, now the Raiders: The Adaptation tickets are officially available on the Festival Cinemas website.

May 2, 7 pm, Park Theatre, 3440 Cambie Street. It's for charity! Tickets are $12; if we get more than 200 people, we make money for the folks who fight cancer. 500 is a full house.

Festial Cinemas

Click on the BUY TICKETS tab on the right, and look for Raiders: The Adaptation.

Raiders: The Adaptation in Vancouver May 2

2008-04-08T08:16:00.001-07:00

Here's the official event poster for the upcoming charity movie screening of Raiders: The Adaptation. Posters should go up around town very soon.

Raiders: the Adaptation in Vancouver May 2

2008-04-02T22:45:00.003-07:00

Doing my part for the lead up to the new Indiana Jones movie, I'm hosting the Vancouver premier screening of Raiders: The Adaptation -- it's a charity screening to benefit the Canadian Cancer Society, so I hope to have a packed house for the event.

7 pm
May 2, 2008
Park Theatre
3440 Cambie Street
Vancouver

Tickets are $12, and will be available for advance purchase -- let me know if you want to come!

There just may be a god after all

2008-04-01T17:05:00.002-07:00

Once in a while, a news story warms the cockles of my heart. I rarely wish harm upon anyone, but if anybody deserves to be drenched in hot embers, it's fans of professional wrestling:

40 burned by WrestleMania fireworks

Numbers 3 and 4

2008-03-06T14:42:00.002-08:00

o·ver·whelm: (ō'vər-hwělm', -wělm') tr.v.
** o·ver·whelmed, o·ver·whelm·ing, o·ver·whelms

1. To surge over and submerge; engulf: waves overwhelming the rocky shoreline.

2. To defeat completely and decisively: Our team overwhelmed the visitors by 40 points.

3. To affect deeply in mind or emotion: Despair overwhelmed me.

4. To present with an excessive amount: They overwhelmed us with expensive gifts.

5. To turn over; upset: The small craft was overwhelmed by the enormous waves.

Louis Riel Day

2008-02-18T15:11:00.007-08:00

It's Louis Riel Day in Manitoba (the easternmost of Canada's western provinces). Some people think Louis Riel was a traitor -- some think he was the founder of Manitoba, and more important to building Canada than John A MacDonald himself. Either way, it's a great way to heighten interest in Canadian history without yet another high school lecture on the Metis.

Everything I learned about the Northwest Rebellion in high school was presented in ultra-boring memorize-dates-and-names fashion. An annual civic holiday, perhaps alongside mandatory reading of Chester Brown's well-made graphic novel, will do more for aboriginal rights and cultural awareness than any number of ill-made 1960s National Film Board edutainmental reels.

(I love the NFB, by the way, especially for its animated shorts, but all the outdated NFB films they showed us in high school put me off Canadian history for nigh on 25 years.)

Settlers of Catan, et al

2008-02-13T21:03:00.004-08:00

Nothing much to say about it at the moment, but I'm really enjoying board games of late.

Specifically, I'm playing Settlers of Catan ( unofficial but cool online version here), Carcassonne (which my wife and I are playing quite often, as it works well for two players, and Blokus.

Hey, don't judge. They beat the hell outta watchin' TV every waking moment.

Demetri Martin quote of the day

2008-02-06T22:15:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, people who done tell jokes is funny people.

"A mobile home with a flat tire is a home."

-- Demetri Martin

Demetri Martin quote of the day

2008-02-05T10:24:00.000-08:00

Demetri Martin is funny.

"Hot potato is a very different game when the players are starving. Then it's more like 'My Potato.' I've got burned fingertips, but I don't give a damn: FREE POTATO!"

-- Demetri Martin

Demetri Martin quote of the day

2008-02-04T19:34:00.000-08:00

I was recently introduced to a New York comic whose one-liners are worthy of Stephen Wright himself. One a day, my friends, one a day:

"They call it fishin', but they should call it what it really is: trickin' and killin'."

-- Demetri Martin

Demetri Martin quote of the day

2008-02-03T20:49:00.000-08:00

I was recently introduced to a New York comic whose one-liners are worthy of Stephen Wright himself. One a day, my friends, one a day:

"Saying 'I apologize' is the same as saying 'I'm sorry'. Unless you're at a funeral."

-- Demetri Martin

Demetri Martin quote of the day

2008-02-03T20:41:00.000-08:00

I've just been introduced to a New York comedian, who's, well, funny, in a Stephen-Wright-at-the-piano kind of way:

"It's easy to turn any toy into an adult toy: LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION."

-- Demetri Martin

Super Bowl XLII

2008-02-03T18:24:00.000-08:00

I just don't get it.

Whether Tom Brady and the Patriots make history, or the NY Giants stop 'em in the Super Bowl, I just couldn't give a rat's ass. I mean, these are teams that play fewer than 20 games per season. Sure, any one of the guys on the Pats' offensive line could run a Sherman Tank into the ground -- and they're supposedly five kilos per hulk smaller than the Giants' O-line. But this is a league that routinely sees felons paid tens of millions per year to knock their opponents into the hospital.

Okay, most sports have bad guys. But this is a league that has drug-doping as a side salad to the game itself. Michael Vick is still revered by a lot of fans because he can run the pigskin better than most other quarterbacks, but the guy hid a dog-fighting ring on the property of his mansion. Now the poor baby can't play his favourite game any more. I'm so sad -- I'm sure he'll feel really bad flashing his bling without a weekly sweatfest in front of legions of adoring sheep.

And the whole hoopla of the game doesn't wash. There are entire fan clubs just for the advertisements unveiled during the game. Doesn't this seem odd? People are cheering, rating, and even downloading these commercials.

Don't even get me started on Alicia Keys lip-synching through the pre-game show, which might I mention started several hours before kickoff?

Call me if you can explain this whole thing.

Keepin' on with the book readin' thang...

2007-12-29T17:21:00.000-08:00

They did so over a year ago, but hey, I've never claimed to be on top of things. The UK's Association of Librarians & Museum-ians who put it together. Each person was asked, "What is one book every adult should read before they die?" These were the 30 top vote-getters (in order, apparently).

Lists are predictably controversial. As this is a British poll, it's unsurprising that The Bible's represented but (apart from the very preachy Life of Pi) there are exactly zero alternative religious texts -- but as a Greek classics hobbyist, it's disappointing that Austen & Bronte have shown up Homer & Virgil. And hey, Dickens and Golding I get, Steinbeck even -- but how does the lone Canadian entry end up being Kenneth Graham??!?!? No Atwood? No Ondaatje? No Leacock? Apologies to Mr Hardy, but Tess of the D'urbervilles does NOT outrank Jonathan Swift's Gulliver's Travels. Oscar Wilde's exclusion is criminal; equally sad is their naming Winnie the Pooh over, say, Roald Dahl's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory or Richard Adams' outstanding Watership Down.

All complaints aside, there's not a volume here I'd turn away out of spite. Turns out I'm 33% finished my pre-death reading assignments. I've read 10 of these, and marked them with asterisks.

1. *To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee 
2. The Bible  
3. *The Lord of the Rings Trilogy by JRR Tolkien
4. * Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell 
5. *A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
6. * Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
7. * Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
8.  All Quiet on the Western Front by E M Remarque 
9. His Dark Materials Trilogy by Phillip Pullman 
10. Birdsong by Sebastian Faulks
11.  The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck 
12. *The Lord of the Flies by William Golding 
13. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon 
14. *Tess of the D'urbervilles by Thomas Hardy
15.  Winnie the Pooh by AA Milne 
16. Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte 
17. The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Graham 
18. Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell
19. * Great Expectations by Charles Dickens
20.  The Time Traveller's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger 
21. The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold 
22. The Prophet by Khalil Gibran
23.  David Copperfield by Charles Dickens 
24. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho  
25. The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov
26.  Life of Pi by Yann Martel 
27. Middlemarch by George Eliot
28.  The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver 
29. *A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess 
30. A Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich by Alexander Solzenhitsyn

Books, books and more books

2007-12-27T16:40:00.000-08:00

I've always liked books, although I probably talk a bigger game than I actually play. I mean, I read and everything, but I'm not as well-read in the classics area as I probably should be. This year, I finally hit my goal of sitting down to read, cover to cover, at least 50 books in a calendar year; unlike the original 50 Book Challenge that I got the idea from, I include graphic novels, online books and non-fiction books in the total. I didn't count magazines, articles, essays or websites.

Of the 50-some books I kept track of this year:
- 19 were traditional novels of fiction
- 14 were graphic novels
- 8 were straight up children's books (15 if you count the Harry Potter series)
- 9 were non-fiction
- 2 were online publications
- 4 were purely academic reads (essay compilations for a Latin American history course)
- 8 more were books for courses that (luckily) doubled as pleasure reading
- 6 were classics (7 if you include the English Patient)
- 14 were repeat reads, not including multiple reads necessary for writing papers for courses

Some books fall under more than one category, of course, so if you're trying to get me on shaky math, nyah, nyah, nuh-nyah, nyah.

I normally don't get involved in memes, but here's one I grabbed from the ever-impressive erin-go-blog:

These are the top 106 books most often marked as “unread” by LibraryThing’s users. This list has not been adapted, nor edited, by me -- I've just followed the rules for bolding and such. I haven't hated any of them, but here are the rules, loathing instructions included...

Unfinished Book-ness Meme
Bold what you have read, italicize books you’ve started but haven't been able to finish, and strike through books you hated. Add an asterisk* to those you’ve read more than once. Underline those on your TBR list.

Jonathan Strange & M. Norrell
Anna Karenina
Crime and Punishment
Catch-22*
One hundred years of solitude
Wuthering Heights
The Silmarillion
Life of Pi: a novel
The Name of the Rose
Don Quixote
Moby Dick
Ulysses
Madame Bovary
The Odyssey****
Pride and Prejudice
Jane Eyre
A Tale of Two Cities
The Brothers Karamazov
Guns, Germs, and Steel: the fates of human societies
War and Peace
Vanity Fair
The Time Traveller’s Wife
The Iliad**
The Blind Assassin
Mrs. Dalloway
Great Expectations
American Gods
A heartbreaking work of staggering genius
Atlas shrugged
Reading Lolita in Tehran
Memoirs of a Geisha
Middlesex
Quicksilver
Wicked : the life and times of the wicked witch of the West
The Canterbury tales
The Historian
A portrait of the artist as a young man
Love in the time of Cholera
Brave New World
The Fountainhead
Foucault’s Pendulum
Middlemarch
Frankenstein**
The Count of Monte Cristo
Dracula*
A Clockwork Orange
Anansi Boys
Emma
The Once and Future King
The Grapes of Wrath
The Poisonwood Bible
1984*****
Angels & Demons
The Inferno
The Satanic Verses
Sense and Sensibility
The Picture of Dorian Gray*
Mansfield Park
One flew over the cuckoo’s nest
To the Lighthouse
Tess of the D’Urbervilles
Oliver Twist
Gulliver’s Travels (In fact I blogged at length about it.)
Les Misérables
The Corrections
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay
The curious incident of the dog in the night-time
Dune
The Prince
The Sound and the Fury
Angela’s Ashes
The God of Small Things
A people’s history of the United States : 1492-present
Cryptonomicon
Neverwhere
A confederacy of dunces
A Short History of Nearly Everything
Dubliners
The unbearable lightness of being
Beloved
Slaughterhouse-five*
The Scarlet Letter
Eats, Shoots & Leaves**
The Mists of Avalon
Oryx and Crake : a novel
Collapse : how societies choose to fail or succeed
Cloud Atlas
The Confusion
Lolita
Persuasion
Northanger Abbey
The Catcher in the Rye
On the Road
The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Freakonomics
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
The Aeneid*
Watership Down
Gravity’s Rainbow
The Hobbit*********** (I lost count, but it's a lot -- it's a great book to use for high advanced ESL students.)
In Cold Blood
White Teeth
Treasure Island
David Copperfield
The Three Musketeers

Missing: one dream, answers to 'Epiphone'

2007-11-14T20:41:00.000-08:00

"You write stuff down, don't you? Like, in a journal, and everything? Dude, can you pinpoint when you lost your dream?"

-- Craig Norris, CBC3's R3-30

literary nepotism

2007-11-13T16:42:00.000-08:00

The actual name of this phenomenon escapes me at the moment, but I love when a writer references another work in their fiction. It's not just that I enjoy seeing how one artist influences another -- Homer's Odyssey directly or indirectly inspiring Dante's Inferno, Milton's Paradise Lost, or even Spielberg's Indiana Jones -- although that's fascinating in its own right. Rather, I enjoy when an author has a character read or somehow become involved with a story within that story. Por exemplo:

"She opens The Last of the Mohicans to the blank page at the back and begins to write in it.

There is a man named Caravaggio, a friend of my father's. I have always loved him. He is older than I am, about forty-five, I think. He is in a time of darkness, has no confidence. For some reason I am cared for by this friend of my father.

She closes the book and then walks down into the library and conceals it in one of the high shelves."

-- Michael Ondaatje, The English Patient

In writing this brief episode, how does Ondaatje's choice of book inform his audience? Would the reader interpret this differently if Ondaatje had instead written about Hana scribbling in The Jungle Book or Jane Eyre? Would Lady Chatterley's Lover have been too racy a reference, distracting the reader unnecessarily, or perhaps over-sexualizing her observations about this older man? As the English Patient himself collects clippings in Herodotus' Histories, would it have been hopelessly elitist to depict Hana defacing a copy of The Iliad?

Things become even more complicated once we start asking whose choice it was in the first place: if we argue Ondaatje's the one who chose that tome, we're asking all kinds of metalingual questions. He picked that book for the literary references inherent in the years that have passed after James Fenimore Cooper published the novel. To imply a connection between a sympathizer to a conquered people and Ondaatje's own Caravaggio. For the simplicity of borrowing an entire text's popular relevance without having to weigh down his own text even further.

If, however, one supposes that Hana, the character, chose the book, the connections become less about Ondaatje's cleverness, and more about his character's completeness. Does she make a deliberate move to place this journal entry in this volume, or is it mere random chance? Earlier in the novel, we are told that Hana has little if any literary knowledge; are we then supposed to guess that she's been educated by her experience, enough to understand the complexity of her choice? Or should we attach a pseudo-schoolgirl naivete to it, that "oh-it's-just-so-romantic" squeal that belies true understanding of a deeper text?

As a writer, as a teacher, hell, as a lover, I know it's the little things that make all the difference. Here, and a nod is needed to rebobadob's The Luck Key, this is a case of the tiniest detail colouring an entire text. Literally.

Thriller Killer

2007-11-02T20:21:00.000-07:00

A huge shoutout to this article on the CBC and YouTube for making me aware of this video. It's priceless.

Chicken is...

2007-10-29T21:43:00.000-07:00

... funnier than you thought.

See http://isotropic.org/papers/chicken.pdf for a hard copy.

I feel good!

2007-10-12T11:48:00.000-07:00

I knew that I would, now.

Linguistics: a primer

2007-10-09T21:33:00.000-07:00

The latest in my string of post-secondary courses taken to keep the ol' brain alive, English 329 at UBC, presents a basic overview of linguistics. There are obvious applications for linguistic theory in my work as an ESL instructor, but some of the things that impress me most about the course thus far aren't pedagolically minded. They're just damned sharp observations.

Last week's lecture included this gem from instructor Jessica de Villiers:

"A society of listeners expects clear enunciation -- a society of speakers, however, pretty much slurs everything."

This statement speaks to more than just various styles of learning. Yes, Korean and Japanese learners (for the most part) tend to focus on paper skills, grammar rules, and what we'd call book-learnin', and thus have difficulty a) speaking English in non-classroom situations, and b) listening to casual English as spoken by non-classroom teachers. And yes, Mexicans and Italians (for the most part) tend to focus on speaking first, which them an advantange in casual conversation but forever stigmatizes them as not being able to use the language correctly, especially in writing. But for me, the most interesting implications of this statement aren't to do with people from outside the English-speaking community. It's the ramifications for societal differences within a given lingual group that fascinate.

As educational levels go up, what goes down are the tendencies to speak first and face consequences later. As most of our parents tried to teach us, those who listen get ahead. Cases in point: the lower classes tend to resort to knee-jerk reactions, while upper crust types calculate responses. Street-level violence goes hand in hand with lengthy explosions of profanity; white-collar crime, more often than not, is hidden in carefully crafted legalese. Needless to say, this presents itself as a two-way street... naughty words will always be seen as low-class, while the hoity toity -- oh crap, he says, re-reading this very post -- will pontificate no end.

No matter how we evolve, or where we go as a society, or how open minded we pretend to be, we'll pretty much always come back to the My Fair Lady form of class distinction. That's not necessarily a function of class superiority, as commonly espoused by us left-wingers, so much as one of lingual expression.

Fascinating stuff. Looking forward to more of the same.

Neil Gaiman - The Wake

2007-09-29T13:07:00.000-07:00

How does one write about Neil Gaiman without falling into cliche, falling into repetition, falling prone at his feet in worship? The man has so rightfully been praised up and freakin' down for his Sandman work that it almost seems silly to chime in with my own reaction.

Perhaps the most useful thing I can say is that this particular volume contains one of the single most moving stories within the Sandman arc: that of Master Li in Exiles. A sparsely illustrated tale of a former counsellor of kings, Exiles exemplifies the complex, challenging, pan-cultural writing that is Neil Gaiman's The Sandman.

All hail JT

2007-09-11T14:33:00.001-07:00

Okay, I know the guy came from cheesy beginnings, but I have to admit the guy's got style. First he brought sexy back. NOW he's bringing back decent comedy. He got a special category Emmy for this, and deservedly so.

SNL Digital Short: Dick in a Box

Bourne again

2007-09-11T11:21:00.000-07:00

Sad to say that my summer has been defined not by sunshine and outdoor excursions, but rather by the popular culture consumed on opening weekends. I've only been hiking once yet this year (stair master masquerading as a mountain, the Grouse Grind, notwithstanding), and suffered a migraine for nearly half of that three day excursion -- but I happily devoured both Harry Potter book and movie, the Simpsons feature, and a couple of weeks ago, The Bourne Ultimatum.

Frankly, this string of Bourne films has now outdone every other series of movies I can think of. Each of the triptych is taut, smart and dammit, balls out fun. Matt Damon doesn't damage the movies, as he really doesn't have to flex any acting chops here, per se: his dialogue is limited to perhaps eight lines through the entire film. Don't get me wrong, he's better by far than, say, Keanu Reeves or even his buddy in writing, Ben Affleck. But I think we can all admit that Mr Damon isn't going to win a bevy of performance Oscars any time soon. What he does provide is believability in the role of a seriously dangerous killing machine who can't quite figure out how the hell he gained these skills.

Holy crap do the fight scenes in this flick keep the old juices flowin'. I can't remember the last time I saw this many people visibly energized by a film... People were rocking forward in their seats, faces in their hands, nervously running fingers through their hair... The entire audience was drawn, together, into this outstanding, tense universe of Jason Bourne and the 'properties' on either end of the chase.

There isn't a traditional bad guy, or good guy for that matter, in this series. The hero is a killing machine clawing back from the state of mindlessness instilled in him by his government. Even those in charge of the program have had their disrespect for human lives programmed into them by their superiors and predecessors.

The adjectival gymnastics employed by critics to describe this film are well-deserved. Even more than the first two films, this is a project that transcends genre -- it's by any stretch of the term, a masterpiece of modern art. Every member of the audience at my opening weekend showing of The Bourne Ultimatum left, breathless, limping into the lobby, weary with the glee of having seen the best action film, and one of the best films, made in decades.

Egg on my Facebook?

2007-08-13T23:12:00.001-07:00

I'm wondering if I should perhaps un-post some of the pics on my Facebook profile.

Viva las brujas

2007-08-11T14:25:00.000-07:00

Okay, it's not my best-ever paper by any stretch of the imagination. But the source material is fascinating, and the end product I've come up with is probably worse for how much I actually enjoyed reading the essays cited here. The book itself, Sexuality & Marriage in Colonial Latin America, edited by Asunción Lavrin, is not all about witchcraft -- in fact only one of the essays therein actually deals directly with the phenomenon of female magic. But the theory that absolute male power begat X-Filesque feminine occultism is a truly interesting one.

Apologies both to my instructor and to the authors of the (much better) essays in Lavrin's tome.

Viva las brujas, a poorly constructed paper, by Jason Kurylo

Throughout history, very few cultures have offered women social power. In fact, where and when it has existed, female power has been largely mistrusted (Behar, 181). The same held true throughout colonial Latin America; with very few exceptions, men ruled the roost. All of Christian society was built upon a male-dominated model that spun fractally downward from the king looking after the people to the husband looking after the household (Boyer, 252-253). Even in private domains such as the bedroom, a woman was expected to fulfill a sexual debt to her husband; whereas a man could withdraw from the marital bed for months at a time or engage freely in extramarital relations, a reluctant wife could expect physical punishment or even church interference (Lavrin, 78).

Women, like servants, were far removed from decision-making; men ruled financial, political, and religious arenas, and held distinct advantages in social situations as well. Ecclesiastical decrees, royal proclamations, civil laws and family inheritance were all conceived, proclaimed and enforced by men. In fact, being female sometimes exceeded enslavement for lack of power. King Charles III’s Real Pragmática excluded dark-skinned subjects from the throne’s stringent rules (Socolow, 210), and was placed more strictly upon white Hispanic females. In church doctrine, even the Holy Mother was a virgin, placing an unreasonable yoke of moral responsibility upon women’s shoulders. The expectation of absolute abstinence meant women were either judged to be ‘in control’ or ‘out of control’, with no shades of grey in between (Twinam, 123-124).
This presented numerous instances of confusing public policy. Women of all colours were often ill-treated, even by those within the church, and yet were accused of being the main reason for their own hardship. Women, due to their fragile will and weak honour, were easily hoodwinked by sweet talkers (Lavrin, 59). They were expected, however, to deny the advances of men, who were afforded the luxury of misconduct – to carry out affairs, father illegitimate offspring and mete out physical abuse to women and children (ibid., 64-65). Indian women, however, were assumed to have loose morals and thus to be beyond expectation of honour (ibid., 67).

Bishop Mariano Martí acknowledged that, in the pursuit of sexual seduction and conquest, women were often unfairly pitted against male power, rank and abuse of church doctrine. Women were also lured into disrepute by the promise of impending or eventual material gain (Waldron, 158). Rather than placing blame for these transgressions upon male suitors and promise breakers, he called women moral polluters whom he “blamed... for much of the sexual misconduct in his dioceses”. Martí’s reasons for these epithets, however, only listed worldly manners of enchantment, for example, flirtation, revealing clothing, and inappropriate consort (ibid., 170-171).

In public complaints and marriage disensos, women were nearly always called to question over their sexual conduct, whereas men were accused more often of less ‘dirty’ vices, such as joblessness, gambling and deceit (Socolow, 220). Direct offences against their wives and consorts were actionable in some cases – but even leaving the home needed permission from church authorities (Nizza Da Silva, 314). As official recourse was limited when men exhibited excessive carelessness, philandering or violence, women were left to use “whatever tactics and resources were at hand to defend themselves and try to modify their circumstances” (Boyer, 280). Sometimes this meant turning to a less traditional source of softening the brutality of their mate: namely, witchcraft (Behar, 197).

Each side of this story used different words to describe their struggle for control. Just as the church aimed to ‘educate’ and ‘civilise’ heathen natives through subjugation and oppression, men related tales of magic used por asimplar, amansar y ligar — to ‘stupefy’, ‘tame’ and ‘tie’. For their part, women searched for ‘remedies’ to combat their husbands’ philandering, carelessness and violence (Behar, 179).

From the male point of view, this dark magic presented an out should he not live up to cultural standards. Undue feminine sway over a man was in such opposition to established power structures that she was automatically assumed to be a bruja. If she displayed unusual fortitude or manly behaviour, such as brazenly cuckolding her husband, the man had few options at his disposal. Having already suffered from immeasurable dishonour, the man was compelled to take control of the situation by punishing his disobedient wife. If he could not, an admission of weakness was not an option (Nizza Da Silva, 318): his only possible explanation was witchcraft (Behar, 178-179).

On the other hand, witchcraft offered hope to women across racial and social spectra of ‘remedies’ for their husbands’ unfaithful or violent ways (ibid., 179), and allowed them to use their sole arena of control — the kitchen, or more specifically, food preparation — to their advantage (Behar, 197-199).

Where in northern Europe, and later in a young United States, witch hunts were borne and whipped into social frenzies out of political and religious paranoia, Hispanic powers that be mainly dismissed as harmless the whispering networks which sprang up between women of all colours and castes. Spanish, Italian and New World complaints of witchcraft tended to involve activities of a more intimate nature — fabled methods of rendering a cheating husband impotent, love potions and sex magic. The Inquisition found these stories unworthy of attention, as magical practices tended to give the user only individual, fear-based power (ibid., 183-184).

Hispanic women were not strangers to witchcraft, as evidenced by similar female spell casting reported on the Iberian peninsula. In colonial Latin America, however, the upper classes most often had a distant relationship with magic. Money helped some to create status, and even pass between some racial boundaries (Twinam, 126-127). It also allowed some rich women to seek out a dark-skinned practitioner — who added local or foreign flavour to Hispanic legend — and trade a combination of food, shelter and money for folkloric assistance. Due to their otherness, these mulattas, mestizas and Indians represented multiple sources of power: the ‘inherent’ female magic and the traditional powers of their racial groups (Behar, 192-193).

Works Consulted
Behar, Ruth. “Sexual Witchcraft, Colonialism, and Women’s Powers: Views from the Mexican Inquisition.” Lavrin, S&M 178-208.

Boyer, Richard. “Women, La Mala Vida, and the Politics of Marriage.” Lavrin, S&M 252-286.

Calvo, Thomas. “The Warmth of the Hearth: Seventeenth-Century Guadalajara Families.” Lavrin, S&M 287-312.

Gruzinski, Serge. “Individualization and Acculturation: Confession among the Nahuas of Mexico from the Sixteenth to the Eighteenth Century.” Lavrin, S&M 96-117.

Lavrin, Asunción, ed. Sexuality & Marriage in Colonial Latin America. Lincoln: U of Nebraska P, 1992.

Lavrin, Asunción. Introduction. Lavrin, S&M 1-43.

Lavrin, Asunción. “Sexuality in Colonial Mexico: A Church Dilemma.” Lavrin, S&M 47-95.

Nizza Da Silva, Maria Beatriz. “Divorce in Colonial Brazil: The Case of São Paulo.” Lavrin, S&M 313-340.

Socolow, Susan M. “Acceptable Partners: Marriage Choice in Colonial Argentina, 1778-1810.” Lavrin, S&M 209-251.

Twinam, Ann. “Honor, Sexuality, and Illegitimacy in Colonial Spanish America.” Lavrin, S&M 118-155.

Waldron, Kathy. “The Sinners and the Bishop in Colonial Venezuela: The Visita of Bishop Mariano Martí, 1774-1784.” Lavrin, S&M 156-177.

Saartje's Bootees

2007-08-06T19:07:00.001-07:00

Saartje's Bootees
Originally uploaded by helloyarn

It's a weird thing of mine, but I love pictures of shoes. There's such a sense of possibiity.

Strangely, I rarely take shots of shoes myself -- I just adore it when I come across a shot like this.

Thanks to helloyarn for a great inspirational moment. I simultaneously thought of hiking trips, the creative impulse, my parents' respective button collections, and my wife and me having kids (coming in a couple of years, mom, I promise).

Obligatory Harry Potter 7 review

2007-07-22T16:29:00.000-07:00

Not unlike many others, I ensconced myself in my flat all day Saturday to avoid reading, hearing or overhearing spoilers from the end of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. JK Rowling isn't the best writer, technically, but as a storyteller she's without modern peer. Her ability to weave bits and pieces from myths throughout the ages is stupendous -- and beyond the pages, her effect upon the publishing world has been nothing short of, well, magical.

-- Attempts, and failures, to prevent spoilers below --

Book 7 uses Lord of the Rings perhaps more than any other Potter book has lifted from any one influence; but who else other than Tolkien can claim to have manufactured such a complex, believable universe so similar, yet so unique from our own? Rowling is one of the few modern writers who could do this and get away with it -- but here's hoping she eschews the temptation to release the widely reported, encyclopaedic Potteralion, with all the background and history of each place and character.

Of course it's possible to nitpick. The last few books have been criticised for awkward bits of prose, but they mirror aptly the confusion of the 17-year-old protagonists. Her reliance upon the gimmicky Pensieve (lessened, thankfully, in book 7) is, in the scope of her 10,000 pages of Potterlore, a minor indulgence. And hey, can anyone find me a book by Charles Dickens that isn't fraught with show-offish bits of loquacious cleverness? By Tolkien that doesn't smack of naïveté? George Orwell, pomposity? CS Lewis, preaching? Oscar Wilde, ego? Just as altruism hints at selfishness, publishing reeks of idiosyncrasy and tics of personality. That doesn't make Rowling a slouch -- merely human.

The first three books were above average, if not inspired children's lit. They stayed within a fairly well-defined formula: an otherwise unremarkable boy is shipped from a horrible homelife into a stunning world of magic and mystery, and is revealed to be not just unusual, but "The Chosen One." He learns of friendship, experiences pre-destined enmity, and overcomes trials that make his previous suffering seem banal in comparison. Heck, that initial triptych is practically a Roald Dahl story with a magical train for an elevator, and a megalomaniacal Dark Lord in place of corporate espionage. Rowling even has chocolate frogs!

Starting with book four, however, Rowling turned up the black light. The Goblet of Fire introduced the finality of death -- in any other story, as the text implies, Cedric Diggory would have been the hero, would have held aloft the trophy, would have lived.

Rowling made it clear in book four that she was going to go in the footsteps of the ancient Greeks, who always had death or disfigurement to balance out the good and the glorious. And after the Brothers Grimm, who didn't shy away from calling a spade a spade, then using it to bury the protagonist. Books five and six have famously continued this plunge into darkness -- a nod to common contemporary thought: to catch the killer, you must think like the killer. Indeed, in books five and seven, Harry is literally inside Voldemort's mind, and must deal with the psychological baggage that comes with that repulsive attachment. Nothing new here, right? It's become an industry unto itself, as the sixty-seven CSI franchises will attest. Need more? Ask Fox Mulder, Clarice Starling, Dominic Da Vinci, or Robert Langdon.

Where Tolkien's hero is elevated to sainthood by his crusade to destroy the superhuman Sauron, Harry Potter starts his adventure swathed in celebrity. The object of his quest is normalcy. The result of his victory, a good woman and a truckload of kids. By the end, Harry has proven to be more Samwise Gamgee than Frodo Baggins, more everyman than tragic hero.

In her wildly anticipated finale, Rowling leaves few threads dangling (unlike, say, Lemony Snicket's largely unsatisfying, triskaidecodic The End), yet avoids longish explanations and overly cumbersome epilogues (apolgies to the venerated Mr Tolkien). This is a welcome change, frankly, from her book 5, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, where at the very climax of the book Harry falls asleep and must hear the conclusion second-hand from a longwinded Dumbledore. Harry's anger at feeling left out was an adequate portrayal of many readers' feelings at having the resolution of that otherwise brilliant 1200-page tome come down to a couple of anecdotes.

Book Seven will be similarly critiqued and second-guessed by many in the weeks and months to come. It's natural for people, especially those of lesser talent, to seek out fault in great works. In time, the entire series will be highly regarded, even studied, not just as a good collection of popular fiction, but as being a genuinely uplifting piece of well-crafted literature.

The double edged sword of sigh NHL news in July

2007-07-01T23:02:00.000-07:00

I am, as all three of my regular readers know, a huge hockey fan.

I'm also the first one to admit that the current season is waaaaaaay too long. The Stanley Cup should be awarded several months before June, and I'm not the only puckhead to feel this way. So it's with divided allegiance that I comment on the annual free agent frenzy that goes down July 1.

It's freakin' summer. Hockey should be in bed, hibernating until fall. Hell, I even think training camp starts too early -- let 'em sleep till October, like they used to. The only guy who even worked out in the summer was Bobby Hull, and that was on the farm. (Well, okay, I'm sure other guys baled hay, too, but Hull was the first one to show off a buff torso while doing so. I tried and failed to find the picture that was all over the papers back in the day, of Hull with his shirt off, pitchfork in hand, looking like Superman.)

That said, there is hockey news afoot here worth kibbitzing about: while I hate the freelance nature of modern sports -- specifically classy, should-be-franchise-players like Daniel Briere and Ryan Smyth playing roster leapfrog for a few extra million bucks -- I have to say I'm disappoiinted that Canucks bossman Dave Nonis hasn't jumped in on the action. Yeah, it's sad that by losing Briere and Chris Drury, the Buffalo Sabres won't have a prayer of building upon the last two (amazing) seasons. And yeah, it always sucks when deep pockets like the New York Rangers and the Philadelphia Flyers go around the league buying up all the big names. But once, just once, I'd love to pick up the morning paper to see a couple of in-their-prime scoring studs suddenly pulling on Vancouver colours.

I'm ecstatic to have Roberto Luongo here, and I think Markus Naslund has turned from one of the best scoring threats in the league to one of the best two-way players around. But when our team routinely gets outhustled, outbustled and outmuscled, we should be trying to land gutsy players like Smyth and speedy gamebreakers like Briere. You don't think Paul Kariya would look better here than in St Louis? At this point we'll be lucky if Nonis bucks up to sign semi-retired power play specialist John Leclair.

We've got a stud in goal. The Sedin twins are good for a goal a game or so, but the rest of the team only scores when moons turn blue. Let's give Roberto a little more offensive support this season, shall we?

Okay, we now return to our regularly scheduled summer vacation.

Okay, I'm the last one in the world...

2007-06-25T18:05:00.000-07:00

... to see this, but I've gotta put it up anyway, just in case any one of my dozen or so readers hasn't yet either.

Congratulations to Dove yet again for their realistic, and thankfully enlightening, look at "beauty." When a company does stuff like this to demystify the so-called beautiful people, they deserve to do millions in sales.

They still love Lanny in Calgary

2007-06-23T15:19:00.002-07:00

Ode to Lanny
Originally uploaded by stodmyk

I forget the name of the restaurant, but it's only a few blocks away from the Calgary Tower. A great ode to Calgary's most-loved player, who is the only opposing captain to ever accept the Stanley Cup in the Montreal Forum.

A lot of us have mental pictures of Lanny in a Leafs jersey, but does anyone else remember this guy wearing a Colorado Rockies uniform?

Well... Good on the Ducks I guess

2007-06-06T22:46:00.001-07:00

It's a sad statement that the last three teams to hoist Lord Stanely's Cup were borne out of Gary Bettman's expansionist greed, employed more marketing guys than they have fans, and, worst of all each one beat a far more entertaining Canadian squad.

That said, you gotta like the fact that a hardass GM like Brian Burke put together 19 Canadian players (the highest ration of Canucks on any NHL roster), and basically pummelled the rest of the league into submission all year long. And no one, but no one, can begrudge a classy guy like Teemu Selanne his sip from the Holy Grail.

Anyone want to join me in a trip to Cranbrook with the Niedermayer boys bring the Cup home to roost this summer?

PS. It's another sad statement that Martin Brodeur has never has his name engraved on the Conn Smyth trophy. I mean, Cam Ward has a playoff MVP honour, but Marty Brodeur doesn't?

What a beauty! (And Denise is easy on the eyes, too)

2007-05-28T22:09:00.001-07:00

What a beauty! (And Denise is easy on the eyes, too)
Originally uploaded by stodmyk

My business partner and best friend Denise joined me in hitting the Memorial Cup this week -- game start times were an absolute nightmare, leading to a surprisingly low attendance rate by hockey freaks like me, but there were some perks.

Like necking with a fellow named Stanley.

Nothing to say, really...

2007-05-14T20:01:00.001-07:00

Fireworks
Originally uploaded by stodmyk.

I just like this shot, and am doubly proud that I took it with my crappy little automatic digital camera on a walk while (rightly or wrongly...) angry with my significant other.

(Hi, sweetie! I love you!)

The point is, even in the bad moments, we can produce some good things.

What hockey's all about

2007-05-04T17:02:00.001-07:00

Backyard Hockey
Originally uploaded by stodmyk.

When I get frustrated because the Canucks come out flat -- you had a great seasion, but come ON, boys, it's your ELIMINATION game, how can you be so legless? -- I remember moments like this.

On the Easter long weekend, my wife and I drove out to Calgary, and I got to play ball hockey with my nephews. THIS is what the game's all about. I tell ya, these guys don't EVER play without passion.

My best Indiana Jones pose

2007-05-01T22:51:00.001-07:00

My best Indiana Jones pose
Originally uploaded by stodmyk.

... in honour of the upcoming Indiana Jones IV pic...

This Postcard Land of Mine

2007-04-18T14:00:00.001-07:00

This Postcard Land of Mine
Originally uploaded by stodmyk.

Dang, Canada's pretty. Every time I jump in my car, I pass by some place or other that just knocks my Canuck ass off.

My day with Stanley

2007-04-12T21:54:00.001-07:00

Stanley Cup and... ME!
Originally uploaded by stodmyk.

It's only fitting I post this after last night, when the Vancouver Canucks beat Marshall's old team, the Dallas Stars, in the sixth-longest OT game in NHL history. Hopefully I'll get another shot like this one very soon, only beside Brendan Morrison or Trevor Linden, taken at, say, English Bay. Anyway, for the full story, check out the full shot on my flickr page.

It's a Hockey, Hockey, Hockey, Hockey World

2007-04-11T19:55:00.000-07:00

The playoffs start today. That means important hockey nearly every night for the next eight weeks -- for men across this great country, I have to say in advance:

"I'm sorry, honey. The game's on."

Whaddaya say?

2007-04-03T21:23:00.002-07:00

I keep telling my students to write, even if they don't have anything to say. But then, some dumbass colleague of mine teaches them the axiom, "Practise what you preach." So here I am, at the indignant behest of one of my charges.

Just wait, my instructional brethren -- I will soon enough enact my idiomatic revenge. Maybe I'll teach my class, "I know you are, but what am I?" Or my personal favourite, "Shut up, you hook-nosed bastard."

Whaddaya say?

2007-04-03T21:23:00.001-07:00

Whaddaya say?

2007-04-03T21:23:00.000-07:00

My wife loves lions.

2007-03-21T18:16:00.001-07:00

22nd Avenue Lion 4
Originally uploaded by stodmyk.

I love this sidewalk ornament, as pic'd on 22nd Avenue one day last summer. Most days I see stuff like this, I've left the camera at home -- once in a while, however...

The Italian Secretary - Caleb Carr

2007-03-05T17:01:00.000-08:00

Caleb Carr wrote a book a few years back (1994) a wonderfully dark portrait of a doctor playing detective in turn-of-the-century New York City. Dr. Lazlo Kreizler is a dark protagonist whose methods of investigation -- tainted as they are with such unholy things as the scientific method and psychological profiling -- are scoffed at by local law enforcement. Picture if you will Silence of the Lambs, about 20 years prior to World War I. Kreizler's efforts to catch the world's first recognized serial killer are buoyed only by his street rats, a social leper in the form of a sensationalist newspaper writer, and a relationship with his old school chum, New York City Police Chief Theodore Roosevelt.

The Alienist was a revelation of sorts, turning me on to contemporary historical fiction and inspiring me to walk through their inspirations.

While Carr's work since then has disappointed -- in both the sequel to the Alienist (The Angel of Darkness) and his attempt at futuristic espionage (Killing Time) the man seemed enamored with his own smarts -- it was with not a little bit of excitement that I picked up The Italian Secretary, his authorized foray into Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's signature character. Sherlock Holmes is ably portrayed, but the pattern has, alas, persisted. Carr's insistence upon showing off just how clever he is ruins any chance he had at getting it right.

You see, Mr Carr, Conan Doyle succeeded only because he made Holmes look clever, without bringing attention to his own cognitive abilities as a writer. No one walks away from an Agatha Christie masterpiece with a nagging feeling that she was showing off; Christie's characters, rather than Christie herself, show guile; her stories are smart; her plot twists are without peer.

Callejón del Beso

2007-02-17T10:44:00.001-08:00

In honour of love...
Originally uploaded by stodmyk.

The Callejón del Beso is a funky little spot in Guanajuato, México that celebrates the eternal romance of... you guessed it... the kiss.

Here's the balcony where the myth played out. Apparently, a wealthy shopowner didn't like his daughter's boyfriend, so he forbade them seeing each other. The enterprising youth paid the neighbour for access to the balcony, which, as you can see, is within whispering distance of the wooee's bedroom.

The father came home as the two were holding hands, and, enraged, killed his daughter with a kitchen knife. The suitor was distraught but unable to do anything as the window was too small to get across to save the girl. As she slipped away, he kissed her hand to show his everlasting love -- and thereby named this narrow opening, "The Alleyway of the Kiss."

Locals, between offers to take your picture in the alley for $5, will also tell you that should you visit here, it's bad luck not to kiss your honeybunch on the third step. Why the third? Perhaps because the first two steps are worn out by too many American hiking shoes. What if you visit with a college buddy? Hey, what happens in México, stays in México.

Note to self

2007-02-08T15:43:00.000-08:00

It's kinda funny that an evangelical Christian schoolmaster is named "Swindoll." I mean, really. Sometimes they make these things too easy.